Komen Tidewater: Survivor Stories

Survivor Stories

Barbara Murray | Joyce Gettier

Barbara Murray
“I am not in control.” It’s the biggest and most overwhelming lesson that Barbara Murray, oncology health professional and breast cancer survivor, has had to face. An educator of cancer patients for more than 20 years, Barbara suddenly found herself, as she called it, “On the other side.” “It has always been my inner mission to make a difference to other persons via education, and now that opportunity is sitting at my door.”

On March 16, 2005, Barbara was diagnosed with breast cancer. Experienced in the field, Barbara knew that the ultrasound she was undergoing was not a normal one. She knew to ask the questions that no one really wants answered. By 1:30 the next day, a core biopsy was performed. “It was chilling,” Barbara said, “and that was when the reality really hit.” Her doctor recommended a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. She left the doctor’s office with four slips of paper for other doctor’s appointments. Always in control of her daily agenda, suddenly someone else was arranging her schedule.

In the 4 weeks that followed, Barbara donated her own blood and prepared, both physically and emotionally, for her upcoming surgery. In that time, with encouragement from her doctor, she even proceeded to take a previously planned family vacation. In May, Barbara underwent surgery. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments soon followed. It took about 8 months for all of this to happen. Radiation treatments were finished just after Thanksgiving.

During her time of uncertainty, the biggest help for Barbara was the support of family, friends, and other breast cancer survivors. “What you learn through tragedy is how to take care of someone else, how to really be there to help someone.” Friends cleared their schedules to be there to listen, shoulders and tissues ready. Some went to treatment visits with her; others made phone calls and recommendations when she needed it most.

Barbara’s advice to anyone just diagnosed with breast cancer is to choose a doctor carefully. Seek recommendations from other doctors and from cancer survivors. This is a long-term relationship and you must have a doctor with whom you are comfortable. You are very vulnerable at this point in time, so you need a doctor you can trust.

As a breast cancer survivor, Barbara was chosen to be the Honorary Chairperson for the 2005 Race for the Cure®. “The time leading up to the Race and the support I received indirectly from colleagues, friends, and family as far away as Ohio, has shown me the true support shared by a common cause. The awareness of the Race event extends past the Race itself…it’s the money raised by the Komen Foundation for breast cancer research that has led to the newest form of treatment I received this summer, due to a recent study involving breast cancer patients. That is what the walk means to the persons that will get this disease down the road. I intend to be there to help them on their walk.”

Joyce Gettier
On November 9, 1990, at the age of 44, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Five days later I was in the hospital having my left breast removed. The real scare for me was not the loss of my breast but the mystery of Chemo. I had a wonderful doctor but honestly, the Chemo treatments were my worst nightmare come true. I prayed for the strength to handle it and by God's grace he took me through those seven months of horror.

I often wondered, why me? Just a couple of years down the road this question was answered for me. A close relative of mine got cancer. Back in the 90's cancer was not something you talked about. People were afraid to ask, afraid to touch; we all just hoped it would just disappear. I was separated from my husband by the time she was diagnosed with cancer.

Co-Survivor Program

Joyce Gettier is a breast cancer survivor, and she's a co–survivor as well, reaching out to help others battling this complex and baffling disease.

I really liked her so I started sending her little notes and cards every so often to let her know someone cared and understood. One day just a few months before she died, she came to tell me how much it meant to her to know someone understood. That's when I knew that my cancer could help other people.

There have been others who've gotten my notes, cards and conversations. Some were family; some strangers and some I can call friends. Some have survived and some have not. Often times we don't know why these people comes into our lives. It's not what life gives you that matters, it's what you do with it that matters and it's always going to be something. These are two of my favorite quotes to remember.

I prayed for years that I would live long enough to see my children grow up. Now, I have been blessed to be a Grandmother and I pray to see my grandchildren grow up. I have been very blessed in this life, but have and probably always will live with a little fear that the cancer will come back. I live each day as if it was my last and that has been probably my most valuable lesson in all of this.

Cancer teaches you just how precious your time here is. It never lets you forget how little control you have in your life. I know I will never be the same yet I know I'm who I am for all the experiences I have had – good or bad.

I have survived cancer for almost 14 years and yet every ache brings fear. There are many good things in my life and I thank God for each day that he allows me to be me.